Hello From the Inside

I am starting a journey I want to document here and hope that others will tag along for the ride.  In December 2016 I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.  I had been dealing with constant pain and chronic fatigue for quite some time and just relayed it to getting older (I am 34 now), running around and not taking time to properly eat and rest.  After almost a year of what I can only tell you is some of the worst pain I have every experienced (and I have had 4 children) I went to the doctor and was tested for several auto-immune diseases.  My test were all negative which was reassuring but left myself and the doctor puzzled as I had symptoms we couldn't explain.  After further testing and monitoring of my life the diagnoses of Fibromyalgia came in.  This was hard for me to swallow as I had always felt that this disease was a "catch all" diagnosis when the doctor couldn't figure out what was wrong with you but you kept whining about it.  I am here to say BOY WAS I WRONG

Hey there!! It's been a minute!  I have had a full schedule the last several days.  My youngest daughter turned 4 and we did a birthday party.......so much fun!  A room full of small people crying because they want to help pull tissue paper out of a bag.  Then we give them all a bunch of sugar and sticky treats and send them on their way.  But for real, it was fun and I am so glad it's over. The planner!!!! This is working amazing for me.  It has made my purse a bit more full as now I am obligated to carry it around.  But not a bad idea for anyone looking to organize themselves.

It's Wednesday! Or Hump day if you are in the working world.  Not me!  I am reminded on a daily basis that I am not working by the constant guilt that plagues me for spending money or not contributing to my family.  Do I do other things, of course I do, I have 2 daughters and 3 dogs so I keep busy.  But how many moms or wives that are stay at home status feel like this?? I feel bad when I spend money at all outside of groceries.  Like I am not making the money why am I spending it?  I feel like a little kid who has to ask their dad for money.  I worked full time my whole life until my husband joined the military and then we decided that I would get to stay home and raise our kids.  Sounded fantastic to me at the time, then about 4-6 months in I decided I wasn't in to it.  My days feel very scattered and unorganized (hence the planner plan).  I don't feel like I need to rush to do anything because I am here everyday, I will just do it tomorrow........

Well, its 10:30 in the p.m. and I am happy to report that other than a few minor issues the planner plan was successful.  I also made a bit of self discovery, maybe not real self discovery because I think I already knew this about me.....I am a tad bit OCD and kind of a control freak!  I start tasks and get so obsessed with the details that I take FFFOOORRRREEVVVEERRRRR (say it in your Sandlot voice) to get things done.  As I went through the day checking off my list I noticed that my attention to the details was absolutely nothing about me.....it was me thinking what if someone else sees this, what if someone else asks about this???? Even as I sit here to write this (in hope someone actually reads it) I wonder, will someone identify with this?  What if this doesn't make sense??? If I can catch myself doing this it can be changed right!?!?  I sure hope so because it's annoying as hell.  The best part of my realization is this......who would see it? Who would ask about it?? (t

As I wrote the introduction to my blog I felt like it may be a bit sexist.  So MEN, feel free to read and participate...... My purpose for this blog is that I have ALL these thoughts and ideas in my head and not many friends or people near me to share them with OUT LOUD...so you all are the chosen ones....I hope you will bare with me as I figure out how exactly this works and learn new formats and things....but let's be real, that isn't what this space is about. It's MONDAY! So the week of "hats" begins.  My schedule is so non traditional as my spouse is a nurse in the Army and doesn't have a traditional M-F schedule....which SUCKS!  So really, MONDAY is irrelevant to me.  I have turned to a planner to literally write down everything I need to do on that day......am I getting old or just lazy?? Does anyone else do this??? I find myself wondering aimlessly through my house if I don't do this.  Then reminding myself that the bathroom needs to be cleaned o

Hello From the Inside! Welcome to my blog, this is a space for women like me......or not like me.  A free space for us to discuss the life inside the life. The life inside the life refers to us as women, moms, spouses, employees, friends, relatives.....all the hats we wear.  I was seriously dreaming about writing a blog or a space to share my life and all the feelings, titles, duties, roles I play in life and this is what was born. I am a military spouse, a mother, an ex wife, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a friend, an active member of my community and it CAN BE EXHAUSTING.  So why not share and uplift each other here??? I look forward to being on this adventure with you! Thank you! HAPPY MONDAY!